Christianity is at a 6% decline in the last decade-ish, and I can only assume it has something to do with self-righteous judgmental assholes at church damning everyone for things like amazing sex and a little booze (two things Jesus didn’t seem to have an issue with at that >> turned water into wine… He who is without sin cast the first stone… >> Cmon church get your shit together).
My atheist friends would probably have liked Christ had they known Him.
Don’t get me wrong. I can intellectually snob better than the next guy. But as an intellectual who loves mathematics, I am listing reasonable reasons to believe in God here. He is much more than a parental figure in the sky.
Some of this is facetious. Some of it is worthy food for thought. All of it helped me decide God must be real, and I probably like Him.
1. The aliens do.
Most abductees state that not only do the aliens believe in a higher power, but they are closer to the “God Head” than we are, like messengers (or angels). People abducted by aliens cannot be wrong.
I realize this probably isn’t my best lead.
2. Have you ever seen me drive?
If you have, it’s pretty evident some higher form of guardianship exists. My kids frequently yell, “Wee,”when I’m driving through town. There are times where I end up at Taco Bell out of habit, in the drive thru, when I was trying to go somewhere like the doctor’s office. Divine Intervention is the ONLY reason I’m alive.
3. The devil exists. So God must.
Maybe you don’t believe the devil exists, and all those shadow people on Ghost Adventures are not demons or devil-related like this is just a normal thing that has absolutely nothing to do with religion. Whatever. But for those who have resigned to the fact that the devil exists, the opposite must exist.
4. Jesus turned water into wine. Instantly.
That’s a pretty damn good reason to believe in Christ. When you figure out how to do that with the snap of your fingers, let me know. Seriously, let me know, I’ll invite you to every party. But this totes makes Christ way cooler than the pagan gods IMO.
5. Carl Jung.
He was some guy who studied a bunch of different cultures/tribes and all seemed to have some depiction of good vs evil, like it’s an inherent truth given to us all at birth. Christianity dictates that we fell from grace once we received the knowledge of good and evil, and it’s like no matter what culture ever existed, they all had some depiction of white / light / good and some kind of black / darkness / evil, and in most cases, those symbols were generally as gods in charge of the cosmos.
The question is why? Carl Jung just figured the knowledge of good and evil is inherent in us at birth. You know, like the Bible said. If you got a better theory, then go with it. But it’s scientific enough to be worthy of more thought.
6. The Bible is the best selling book of all time.
Bet you didn’t know that. I think it’s because of all the sex and violence, but at some point, you have to ask why it’s selling so much. It’s probably because people like it. Maybe we want it to be true.
7. Prayer helps.
No matter what’s going on in my life, I feel better after I pray. Studies have so far showed that petitionary prayers don’t actually work, such as prayers do not heal the sick, but studies do show an overall Life Satisfaction and Happiness thing happening with Prayer, especially trust-based prayers where one let’s go and let’s God. I may not be able to heal you with prayer, but I can definitely feel better about it.
8. There’s a reason people call His name when climaxing under some sheets.
I’m just going to leave this here.
9. Basic Mathematics Proves it.
If a = b and b = c, then a = c. So what is God equal to? Well according to the Bible, God is Love. Well love exists, so God must exist. He is also the Alpha and Omega, beginning and end, and that also exists. He is light. Yep, still exists. I don’t think the Bible defines God as anything that doesn’t actually exist. A balding cartoon character in a white robe with a huge ginormous white beard hanging out on the clouds, now that probably doesn’t exist, but God was never defined as that in the Bible. Only in Greek Mythology.
10. Noah Webster believed in God.
He was the guy who started schools and compiled the dictionary. He’s like America’s best teacher, from Yale, so we have expert credibility here. And he’s not the only one. Einstein, Marie Curie, and Nikola Tesla all believed in a higher power in some form that wasn’t best described by any religions. Isaac Newton believed in God just not the exact same way as conventional religion. But the Best Taste of Irony Award goes to Charles Darwin for being a firm believer in the Abrahamic God.
11. The Speed of Light
God is light, and the speed of light scientifically happens to be constant, meaning space and time are relative. So God’s existence, scientifically, shouldn’t be in question. It’s your existence, scientifically, that’s questionable.
12. An Amazing Number that proves we don’t exist >> point zero zero zero to infinity one
Many in math claim that the difference between 1 and .9s with 9 repeating infinitely does not exist because you can’t add the number 1 after an infinite amount of 0s. Such as 1 – .¯9 = .¯00000001. YET here we are. Science shows that 99.¯9% of an atom is space. Meaning the part of matter that we can see and touch is that number that cannot simply exist… point zero zero zero to infinity one. Percent. Again, science proves that our existence is the one that’s questionable.
13. Pi
So like most of the crap that exists right now entails knowing what Pi is to make it. Our pathetic, impotent understanding of pi helps us analyze what’s already there. But to make it, you kind of have to know the entire number or fucked up shit happens like Donald Trump’s Hair. The only base system where Pi is a whole number and not infinite is base Pi, in which case, you almost have to be an infinite being in order to actually use pi in real life application (such as creating the cosmos). Also, the square root of 2, the square root of negative 1, and limits as they approach zero and zero divided by zero… all these things are evident that someone is in charge of math. someone with a slightly dark sense of humor.
Accidents in space cannot have a sense of humor.
14. The Catholic Church claims more gold than National Geographic has configured to ever be dug from the earth.
Bet you didn’t know that fun fact. I got it from some British Parliament guy on the British version of C-Span. Or maybe it was the Ancient Alien guy… Anyway, money talks and bull shit walks.
15. Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
And you know what? God is all about love. Jesus preached about love, wine and eating when hungry. I can get on some of that. They are about a love that is deeper than lust, a love that is kind, never envies or boasts, a selfless love where no greater love is a man who lays down his life for a friend. A man who did lay down his life and tormented in endless suffering just so you can sin. So I can sin. So that we can sin. All we have to do is pretend to drink his blood and eat his flesh it’s not creepy.